How I work

The benefits of therapy can be a surprise.  It often doesn’t unfold in the way you might expect.  People usually find it enormously helpful, if not straightaway, then once it has 'got going'.   The therapeutic space has a supportive, non-judgemental and facilitating atmosphere, enabling you to explore what you might struggle to express to friends, partners and family, or even admit to yourself. You might find yourself talking about things you didn't realise you could or would, and making new connections and associations.  While I do offer psychoeducation, exercises, reading or homework, this is generally a small part of the work.   Rather than being a ‘quick fix’, therapy is a much deeper, more personal process.  As our relationship develops and the therapeutic alliance builds, we begin to identify and explore patterns and dynamics, most often rooted in earlier events, that have caused pain and made life difficult.  The impact of experiences that may have gone unrecognised or been misunderstood can be acknowledged.  Sometimes, aspects of one's difficulties arise in the therapy relationship itself, where they can be recognised and thought about 'live'.   Often, there are losses to be grieved.  If you arrive in therapy very traumatised, we work first to stabilise and contain you before we embark on deeper exploration.   

I am informed particularly by contemporary psychoanalytic and attachment-based approaches, which consider early development and how this may later affect the way we experience and respond to ourselves, to relationships and to life events.  Yet, it is not only early life events that affect how we are.  We go through numerous developmental and physiological stages throughout our lives, and don't suddenly 'become adults' in a fixed way when we grow out of childhood and adolescence.  Our lifespan involves many transitions and events which, when challenging or traumatic, can be what brings us to therapy.  I am also informed by trauma theory, somatic therapy, neuroscience, and by an acceptance that life, and being human, is complicated. 

I understand there is an interplay between our internal subjective world and external social reality, which includes cultural and historical dynamics surrounding class, gender, race, sexuality, ability/disability, neurodiversity and religion.   These social categories intersect in complex ways that create unique experiences of oppression and privilege.  Often, there is an intergenerational component present too, and our family and cultural history can be relevant to our experience now.  Whatever your background, talking about these dimensions of life, if it feels right, can be revelatory and helpful. 

A good therapeutic alliance can help you feel understood and less alone or overwhelmed, gain deeper insights and new perspectives, and begin to make more conscious choices. Therapy offers a safe, confidential space to share what is immensely difficult, and can be hard at times, but it involves humour and laughter too. This is also an important part of coming to terms with hardships and loss, and of healing.

We seek help for many different reasons and each person's therapy follows its own unique path.  In turn, each therapist offers their own particular combination of personality, experience and style of training.  It is important to find someone who feels right for you.  The first step with me is a free 20 minute introductory phone call to briefly discuss what is going on for you, whether I might be the right fit and to answer any questions you may have.  Please do not hesitate to contact me for more information or to set up a call.